ETIQUETTE & PERSONALITY
HOW TO SPEAK LIKE A GENTLEMAN | 10 TIPS
You can look like a gentleman, you can act like a gentleman, you can even walk like a gentleman but if you don’t speak like a gentleman, then you’ve failed as a gentleman.
Today, I will go over tips on how to speak like a gentleman. I assure you after reading this article, you will understand how to communicate better as a gentleman – things you should and shouldn’t say as a classy gentleman.
So, Gentlemen!
Welcome to ‘Speaking Etiquette 101 For Gentlemen’.
Don’t worry I’m not gonna charge you for this class. 🙂
INTRODUCTION: WHO IS A GENTLEMAN?
Are you a Gentleman? Or a Stylish Man?
No, wait … That’s not an easy question…so think deeply about the question before you answer.
Being a gentleman takes learning and practice. For a true Gentleman, looking good is only half the battle. For a stylish man, it’s all about the looks.
Being a gentleman means much more than saying “please” and “thank you” and opening doors for the ladies [yeah I know you’ve seen that in stylish movies].
Now more than ever, people will judge us for what we say and how we say it. But do not worry, it’s not impossible to speak like a true gentleman, it’s just a habit and lifestyle you need to develop over time. But to be developed they must be taught and that’s the essence of today’s article.
Let Me Share A True Story With Ya …
I can vividly remember a black tie event I attended in London a while ago, it was one of those high-class events where you meet men and women of high status. I must confess it’s not really my thing, but I just had to be there – a family affair.
As you’ve rightly guessed, I looked my very best in a well-cut Jacquard tuxedo jacket, black pants and a black oxford shoe in a patent leather finish. I was dressed to kill, the ladies were dazzled and the men, oh they stared in utter admiration of my style! Believe me, I didn’t try to steal the show – but man! … I think I did. 😉
I wasn’t just dressed like a stylish man, I walked and acted like a classy gentleman, and when I struck a conversation with the other guests – my mannerism was top notch! Believe me when I say that my confidence was over the top and the best part, I left the event feeling satisfied and more confident in myself than I have ever been since I started writing about Men’s Style and Etiquettes on this Blog.
Plus, I had given them an impression that will last a lifetime… I was the ideal gentleman!
Mastering the art of speaking like a gentleman is a blessing that will favor you in a million folds, Amen!
- It distinguishes you as a classy gentleman.
- You become a valued guest in any occasion.
- It impresses the ladies and,
- It wins you, new friends!
So why not just pick up your pen – a classy pen preferably and take notes as I move on to the basics of how to actually speak like a gentleman!
How to Speak Like a Gentleman | 10 Tips
#1. Always say please.
This is a core characteristic of a gentleman’s lifestyle. Do not underestimate the importance of saying “please”. A true gentleman isn’t proud to use the word, whether he is asking his subordinate for something or just ordering his coffee. Saying “please” is a simple and subtle act but it shows how respectful you are.
In addition, being polite while speaking to others shows that you are a man who is not focused only on himself. It also shows that we have a genuine respect for others in the society and are willing to acknowledge them.
#2. Always say thank you.
It doesn’t matter what he receives, a true gentleman always says “thank you”. Saying this is the most basic thing you should learn as a child, but unfortunately, some men weren’t listening when their parents were teaching them basic manners.
Like a gentleman, you should always say “thank you” when the waitress serves you or the doorman opens the door for you. Honestly, it’s not that difficult, people respect and appreciate you more when you do these little things.
#3. Listen to others.
The key to the art of speaking is not in the act itself but in the ability to listen.
Wow! Did I just come up with that? That’s some Jim Rohn stuff right there. I better quote it…
“The key to the art of speaking is not in the act itself but in the ability to listen.” – KOBI O. MBAGWU
We prefer to hear ourselves speak as opposed to others. In order to speak like a gentleman, you need to remember that listening to others shows how respectful you are. Listening more than speaking allows you to develop a response and answer intelligently. Here are some tips:
Be genuinely interested, focus on the speaker, nod your head, and make the appropriate responses. While you’re talking to someone, do not be distracted by your phone, look at the speaker or speakers. That’s simple.
#4. Don’t use curse words.
Do you curse a lot? If you want to speak like a gentleman, you shouldn’t use curse words. You need to act like a gentleman that you are or want to be, not like a man with mouth diarrhea! Sorry…I wasn’t cursing.
Cursing makes you less of a gentleman and you lose your credibility as well. Trust me, you don’t need to curse to get your point across or to express yourself. You can express yourself in a more respectable and gentle way. Cursing a lot immediately tells people that you are a negative person. It makes you look unintelligent and lacking in respectability.
#5. Don’t talk down to people.
A gentleman never puts other people down to lift himself up!
He doesn’t insult people or say things to hurt their feelings. He is very considerate of others. And yes, a gentleman never gossips about other people or spread rumors. He is not a tattletale! I know a lot of men do these, but really, this is not dignifying.
#6. Don’t interrupt others.
A gentleman doesn’t interrupt others when they’re speaking. You don’t have to interrupt the speaker in order to say your view, just wait until the other has stopped talking before you start. Interrupting someone when they are speaking is rude! You should know when to shut up and listen!
#7. Don’t overshare.
Have you ever met someone for the first time and they pour out their life’s story? Within two minutes you know everything about them including things that are too personal. Isn’t that creepy? Oh well, some men just don’t know where to draw the line before giving out too much information.
This will make you look desperate and repel people from you. If you want to speak like a gentleman, you have to create a little mystery; leave them interested and wanting more.
#8. Be Yourself.
Nobody likes someone who is fake or is trying to be someone else. Just be yourself! Do not speak with a fake accent. A lot of men try so hard to impress people by trying to speak in a certain kind of way. This shows that you don’t have confidence in yourself.
You will only end up looking like a phony and make a fool of yourself. So, stick to your natural voice and tone and talk about things that you’re comfortable talking about; don’t use big words to try to look smart!
#9. Think before you speak.
Most men speak without thinking. You speak aimlessly without considering the feelings of your listeners. To avoid offending someone, don’t be judgmental. Remember, “Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.”
Ok, I didn’t just make that up, that was Plato – one of the greatest classical Greek philosophers that ever lived. Listen to him.
#10. Don’t talk too much about yourself.
No one likes someone who talks about themselves constantly. Don’t talk too much about who you’re or what you’ve accomplished, it will only make you appear arrogant and self-absorbed. Learn to focus on the other person and not yourself!
Final Thoughts
If you want to master how to speak like a gentleman, you need to understand the basic rules, don’t overthink everything and just let things flow. You can follow all the above dos and don’ts without being too hard on yourself.
We’ve come to the end of today’s class and I do hope that it was fun for you as it was for me. Feel free to enroll in our STYLE ACADEMY CLASS to learn more.
Until next time … Continue to Do Well, Live Well and Dress Very Well. Be a True Gentleman!
Thanks for reading.
Yours in Style,
Kobi O. Mbagwu
KOBI KOACHMAN FASHION
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